A marriage will certainly have to face a lot of challenges. Some of them will be harder than the others, and some couples will have to deal with much tougher problems than others. Learning how to push through while staying together and loving each other can become the hardest thing you will ever do, especially if you’re dealing with alcoholism as I did.
For years, my marriage was the perfect one. We never had an argument, never had a fight, we had 2 beautiful kids and it seemed as if nothing could change what we had. It was only after a while that I realized what was happening.
I’d like to share with you 4 ways alcoholism was ruining my marriage without even noticing. This way, if you or someone you love ever go through something similar, you will be able to react and do something about it, to ensure that everyone you love stays healthy and happy.
The best relationships are based on trust and respect. Alcoholism can turn that around, becoming a deadly and silent enemy that will take everything away from you without notice. Lies and deceit become part of the routine of an alcoholic which leads to weakening the trust you have with your partner.
When you’re an alcoholic you defend your addiction with everything you have. This also means lying about how much money you spend on it and how often you do it. Usually, you keep everything from everyone because deep inside, the shame, and the guilt are present as you know you are doing something wrong, even if you don’t want to accept it.
Violence and mood
You don’t really notice until it’s too evident. Alcohol, like any other addictive substance, causes behaviors and mood swings that result in attitudes very unlike yourself. From withdrawal symptoms to irritability and mood swings. Things can start to get very complicated within the household when alcohol is involved.
Things we don’t mean can surface and irreparable damage can be caused. If you’re not careful, it can become a snowball effect of self-destruction, isolation, and harm against all your loved ones.
Once alcohol becomes your priority, bigger issues start to appear. In my case, I started having financial problems because when drinking becomes a habit, it also gets expensive. I forgot about my wife, even though we were still living and sleeping together I always was too drunk to love her,
My situation at work was getting more complicated by the minute until it all collapsed. The facts and the consequences of my addiction started to pile up, thus leading to tension in my marriage. And though it had become a disease by that time, it’s hard to forget the fact that it was my choice to start abusing alcohol.
Problems with your kids
The most painful part for me perhaps was the pain I caused my children. Seeing their dad being completely unresponsive, failing to assist parent-teacher meetings and snapping at them for no reason is one of the things I regret the most. They had done nothing to deserve that and though I finished the program years ago, there is not a single day where the guilt doesn’t invade my mind and my heart, the exact same way alcohol used to run through my body back then.
Alcoholism is still widely overlooked in our society. Spotting early signs of it can not only spare you and your loved ones a lot of pain, it can also grant you a happy healthy life full of love and support.
If you or anyone you love is dealing with alcohol addiction, understand that it is a disease and it should be treated as one. Reach out for professional help and always let them know that you’re there for them.
If you’d like to ask a question or suggest any other ways alcoholism can affect marriage, leave a comment below.